Mr. John Mulaney

Dear, Mr. Mulaney

Hello and welcome to my blog (if you are reading it.)  I would like to introduce my self by saying, I am a fifteen year old white male.  And also I hope I don't scare you away by pointing out all of your flaws and leave you depressed that I was able to do that in so little time.  Anyway the reason that I write this blog is for you.

Truthfulness brought to you by: RLC

I first met you at thirteen.  I formed the habit of going to sleep to music and or some talk show.  I decided to shake things up a little by making a comedy radio on Pandora.  I typed in the only comedian I knew.  Brian Regan.  I really enjoyed some of his stuff but by Pandora being a radio you were the next person on the play list.  I thought that your comedy was hilarious.  I would try my hardest not to laugh, trying not to wake up the entire house.  I would laugh at all of your stories including the ones that made fun of my age group.  I would listen to you when ever I could.  I hope that this does not terrify you too much for the fact that your worst enemies are laughing at your job.

I write for you because you are what I hope to be one day some millionaire that gets paid just to talk to people and make sure that they laugh.  I want to be the one to look back on my life and make sure that it was funny.  I want to be able to tell people about my friend and I that would go to the Salt and Pepper diner and make people go crazy by listening to Tom Jones "What's New Pussycat, but also make them have tears of joy by listening to "It's Not Unusual."  And to also be the kid who makes the basketball team but just because they need a bench warmer.

This blog that I am writing is about my incidents that think could be getting a few laughs.   Also about my opinions that I have on things.  Such as current local events.  I think that you are my ideal reader and others would agree with me on this, because I talk about more random things about my life and what goes on inside my head, and more or less from what I know about you, that is what you do too.

I hope that you would enjoy my blog and not hate it.  I also would like to be somewhat like you and I hope that you read my blog and, agree with the fact that we are both random people.  All in all you're awesome and I hope I can have the same adventures as you, just maybe a little bit cleaner.

 ~Matthew

Andrew's and Sam's Excellent Adventures

(Andrew and Connor Creds to my sister.)

So, as some of you know I come from a rather large family of six.  And the person I would like to talk about to day is Andrew.  Andrew is a pretty cool kid and with his permission I would like to introduce him to you guys.Well, anyway to get to the point, i'm going to share some stories and adventures about Andrew that he has told me.  So grab the popcorn and curl up in a blanket and sip some tea, because you are about to go on one wild ride. (These stories might include Andrew and his friends, they are not fully centered around Andrew.)

The first story I would like to share with you includes the characters: Sam Taggert, Andrew, and Mr. McNaughton (he was Treasure Mountains old principal, and so play the Sarah McLaughlin music.) So anyway when My brother Andrew was very young he was quite the trouble maker, and he earned the nickname the weasel because he got what ever he wanted. So by getting what ever he wanted was the problem at school because he thought he could do what ever he wanted.  So, one night he and Sam decided to stay late at school that night about four o'clock.  They started to do some weird things like roll under the school lunch tables, and also they tried to open up at the stage, but that did not work out as they planned.  Well, sometime during these unnatural acts, they found Mr. McNaughton. They saw him and he saw them and they had that awkward stare at each-other then they booked it out of there.

Story number two starts with a very young Andrew and a very young Sam.  They were both in the second grade.  It was SSR or silent sustained reading, where you have a book and you must read that book for the amount of time that you have SSR.  Well, Andrew and Sam liked to sit in the keiva up against the filing cabinets, when it was very quiet and the only sound that you could hear was the occasional turning page, Sam's stomach started to grumble.  Then, when he released the beast,  it was so loud that it shook the filing cabinet started to shake.  Sam's face turned red and that was the last time that Andrew or Sam read near a filing cabinet. 

Well that is probably enough embarrassment for one day about two people.