Kids go Skiing

So as many of you know from my last post I am an uncle.  Many of you may think that it is weird because all of your uncles are thirty or older.  Well anyway,  I have found that it is pretty awesome to be an uncle all of the kids look up to you and think you are so cool and also they love the attention they get from you.

Well anyway, from being a cool uncle I decided to take the kids up skiing.  Turns out they are naturals.  I was so proud of little Connor who made it up on the bunny hill at Canyons (Park City) called High Meadows.  He only fell once and came back up with snow all over his face but was laughing, which I guess is a good thing.  It's a funny thing that my sister Sarah pointed out is when a kid gets hurt, people tend to cheer them and get loud so that they don't go crying, I guess that is true.  Besides that he did awesome.  Also it made me so happy that he was proud to be a skier, we would tell him to say it loud and proud and he would yell "I'M A SKIIER!" made all of us laugh.

Connor hitting up the slopes.

Also there is Olivia, she was doing well too.  She was really proud of herself when she was able to do the whole run by herself.  So was everyone else.  Soon we all got hungry and so did Olivia they kind of became snooty and just wanted to complain and complain.  So when they got that way we decided it was time to get some french fries.  Funny story about french fries was that the deal was when I was younger if I could go skiing for a little bit we would get some french fries.  Which made me want to go because they have some pretty good french fries up there.  Anyway we all had lots of fun.  The truth is that it is really fun to become an uncle and if you do you will have lots of fun.  Especially if you have cute nieces and nephews that like to do what you do and love it also.

In Conclusion,  skiing is pretty fun even if you aren't an uncle or an aunt you can still have fun with all your buddies but if you do have a niece or a nephew or a cousin or any other type of extended family take them up skiing.  Even if they are not good at it at first, I promise they will definitely get better as the days go on.

What is it like to be an Uncle? (Round 3)

Many people may wonder what it is like to be an Uncle.  Well,  I being somewhat involved in this field can tell you.  As some of you may know.  I have one nephew and now two nieces.  It has been pretty interesting, let me tell you.  Well today March 7th 2016 marks my day of becoming an uncle for the third time.  It really is fun to watch the little kids grow up.  Especially for me because I being the youngest never got to see my brothers and sisters grow up.

I still remember the day that my sister had her first child: Olivia.  I was called down to the office that day in fifth grade (September/22/2012) scared that I had gotten in trouble somehow.  On a side note I have always gotten fearful of getting called down to the office for the fact of getting yelled at by the principal.  Anyways I grabbed my binder and books slowly and went to my locker and grabbed my bag walked down the hall way, my face pale.  It lit up when I saw my dad though my face refilled with color.  I asked him why I was being checked out because it was so rare for me.  He said "Jessica had her baby!" My face lit up with excitement.  I was so happy to become an uncle.  When we got there my sister basically quarantined us to make sure that Olivia did not get sick.  We probably spent hours there, until eight or nine.  We all passed around the new miracle of life. 

Olivia about one year.
Creds My Mom.

Secondly, there was Connor.  Connor was the one that we did not see until a few days later.  Luckily, with him, he was born in the summer and I did not have the anxiety of answering the phone.  We were all so excited to go see him.  With a hop, skip, and a jump we were in the car.  He was a pretty big kid when we all saw him.  I remember my mom telling Jessica that we needed a picture as soon as Olivia and Connor were the same size.  It wasn't long until we got that picture.  I also remember when I held him I felt like I was going to throw him over my shoulders because he was so light.  

This little bundle of joy at about a year and a half
Creds to my sister.

Lastly, but defiantly not the least we have Evelyn.  The new baby that is about one day and about seven hours old as of right now (10:19pm). She obviously will be the freshest in my brain as how I saw her just yesterday.  So what happened was we pulled up to the University Hospital and parked.  We saw my brother Joshua and chased him and waited for him to park, he hopped out of his car and said "I call first dibs."  None of us complained, especially not me because I knew if I was the last to hold the baby I would hold her the longest.  I was kind of rushing to the room (I don't know why, I've held plenty of babies in my life) and when we got there to sign in they told us we had to where doctor masks because of sickness going around, even though I had my immunization papers.  We got there and saw Olivia and Connor just leaving and Connor said very tenderly "Bye-bye baby Evelyn."

Little Evelyn
Creds: Mom

Evelyn and I
Creds: Mom

I finally know why I wanted to get to the room so badly.  It was because there is something magical about holding something so small and precious that you just need to get more.

In the end what I would just like to say is that if you become an uncle or an aunt you will love the feeling of holding something so small like that in your arms.  It makes you want to smile and never let go.

Unicorn Conspiracy

Many people have their own conspiracies about their favorite rock bands and what really happened to Paul McCartney actually being dead sometime before The Beatles broke up, and that if you reverse a Beatles song it will say "Paul is dead."  Some are cheery and some are sad.  I prefer to stick to the bright side of things,  we will be discussing a few factors that may have caused the Unicorns to go extinct. (If you would like to share your own feel free to mention it in the comments.)

The first conspiracy:

Many people know about the biblical story of Noah and the great flood. Well if you don't here is some background information before we start.   God thought that the world was becoming all too evil so he sent a great flood to wipe the entire world clean.  Only one person knew about it, and it was a man named Noah.  Noah tried to warn others and told them to change before God sent the flood.  None of them listened so Noah and his family were the only to survive, they built a huge ark that could fit all of the animals on it... or so he thought.

In our handy dandy bible dictionary, you will be able to find the word unicorn.  Unicorn is defined as a two horned ox, but the reason that people called it a unicorn is because when you look at if from the side it looks like it has one horn.  Now here is my conspiracy.  You know how unicorns are magical right?  They somehow missed out on the invite to the ark, so they used their magic to transform themselves into a giant whale creature,  but the magic that they used was so pure and strong they had to sacrifice one horn, by so doing they created the Narwhal.  Pretty believable right?

Second conspiracy:

Again following the same track of Noah and his ark, this time Noah screwed up.  While he was out collecting the animals and getting them to come to the ark,  he gathered two males not one male and female.

Conspiracy by Bytes.

Third and final conspiracy:

When ever I have gone to a sporting event or somewhere where you need tickets to get in, it seems as if there are always scalpers there.  People who bought tickets to sell them for three times the amount that you could buy them online.  They either buy them and sell them because they think that they are going to gain money or they just know that the they hate the NBA.  Either way,  the scalpers are expecting some form of currency.  Well this might have happened to the unicorns but they missed the scalpers tickets, because the skunks had just bought them.  

Brought to you by Mialitla.

  The problem lies with the fact that it would be freaking sweet to own one, and they don't live here on earth anymore.  Maybe it was Noah's fault, and maybe it was the unicorns fault, it still would be awesome if they were on earth.  My question is how do we get them back? Maybe through intensive cloning? Don't lie it would be pretty sweet.

Mr. John Mulaney

Dear, Mr. Mulaney

Hello and welcome to my blog (if you are reading it.)  I would like to introduce my self by saying, I am a fifteen year old white male.  And also I hope I don't scare you away by pointing out all of your flaws and leave you depressed that I was able to do that in so little time.  Anyway the reason that I write this blog is for you.

Truthfulness brought to you by: RLC

I first met you at thirteen.  I formed the habit of going to sleep to music and or some talk show.  I decided to shake things up a little by making a comedy radio on Pandora.  I typed in the only comedian I knew.  Brian Regan.  I really enjoyed some of his stuff but by Pandora being a radio you were the next person on the play list.  I thought that your comedy was hilarious.  I would try my hardest not to laugh, trying not to wake up the entire house.  I would laugh at all of your stories including the ones that made fun of my age group.  I would listen to you when ever I could.  I hope that this does not terrify you too much for the fact that your worst enemies are laughing at your job.

I write for you because you are what I hope to be one day some millionaire that gets paid just to talk to people and make sure that they laugh.  I want to be the one to look back on my life and make sure that it was funny.  I want to be able to tell people about my friend and I that would go to the Salt and Pepper diner and make people go crazy by listening to Tom Jones "What's New Pussycat, but also make them have tears of joy by listening to "It's Not Unusual."  And to also be the kid who makes the basketball team but just because they need a bench warmer.

This blog that I am writing is about my incidents that think could be getting a few laughs.   Also about my opinions that I have on things.  Such as current local events.  I think that you are my ideal reader and others would agree with me on this, because I talk about more random things about my life and what goes on inside my head, and more or less from what I know about you, that is what you do too.

I hope that you would enjoy my blog and not hate it.  I also would like to be somewhat like you and I hope that you read my blog and, agree with the fact that we are both random people.  All in all you're awesome and I hope I can have the same adventures as you, just maybe a little bit cleaner.

 ~Matthew

New Year's Eve Time and Time again.

New Year's Eve is possibly the only holiday that is celebrated on its eve rather than the actual holiday, and possibly the only holidays that is celebrated by everyone, of every religion, around the world.

Well, anyway if you are not of this world and you are reading my blog may I say, "We come in peace." Also, if you are curious as to what New Year's Eve is; it is the last night of the year where you stay up until midnight (or at least try to). Around the hours of eight to midnight you are supposed to live life up like you never had before, but me being me I will probably never experience wild parties rather, I will be sleeping on your couch.

For example, two days ago (New Year's Eve) there was a dance going on and I was invited. Oh, the excitement rush I was having!  I was wanting to go because friends of mine had texted me asking if I was going to the dance tonight.  I questioned "There is a dance?" Later, they sent me a photo of the flyer.  It started at eight and lasted till twelve thirty A.M.  There was supposed to be a bull ride, and laser  tagging.  We got there around nine and it was below my expectations of what laser tagging and a dance should look like.  The laser tagging was in bright, florescent lights, and there were probably three people on the dance floor flailing their arms in the air like they just did not care.  We found a gym that had a volleyball court set up played there until the pizza came, ate some, and left.

If I Stay, the hipster teen drama that did not interest me. (Creds Den of Geek)

Eventually, we arrived to Sophie's house, and watched If I Stay. The hipster teen drama. I didn't really get into it and went to my normal tradition for New Year's Eve, sleeping.  I was sleeping for about an hour before Rachel decided that one A.M. was the appropriate time to leave.  I was quite confused and had a dazed look on my face and wanted to say "just let me sleep here."  I'm pretty sure they wouldn't have minded for the fact that Sophie's dad is my homie.

Well, if there is anything to learn from this post, don't get excited over teen dances, cause even when you walk in, the party never starts. Also, if you are watching a teen drama that does not apply to your life and you're not interested.  Get on the magical carpet ride of sleep, that can show you the coolest, weirdest, most horrifying things in your life.

What is it like to be a Holiday Baby?

As the title questions, and you may be asking, what is it like to be a holiday baby?  Well, I being one of these can explain.  First, imagine that you see gifts for your birthday, and say it is Christmas time. Times your birthday gifts by two, then eliminate half of what you see.  That is one of the many horrors of being a holiday baby. 

Thanks to Unbashdly

The following stories contain people that have Holibirths.

First, is about my father, he was born on the twenty-first of June nine-teen fifty-seven.  Can you guess what holiday is very close to his birthday?  You guessed it, Father's Day.   Now flash back to Bed Bath and Beyond and little Matthew about ten years in age that is running up and down isles screaming while his mother is hustling to find Matthew a birthday present (and fathers day present) for his dad.  Well as you might guess my mom found the perfect gift the Ped-Egg. The cheese grater foot massager.  I mean it was a foot massager but on the little television that shows the magic of the Ped-Egg they were cutting cheese. Little Matthew was very excited to shred cheese when he got home. On the way home Matthew expressed his feelings to his mom. She said we had to wrap it and give it to dad strait away. Well, anyway when we got back to the house I wrapped it up with my magical ten year old wrapping skills and gave it to my dad.  I told him it was for his birthday and Father's Day, he smiled on the outside but knew he was dying on the inside.

 Matthew (a 14 and 12 hours old Matthew to be exact) was dining at the fine establishment called Full House.  Full House is probably my favorite place to eat Chinese food.  (Mikelle can attest that I love Chinese.) While I was eating my Sweet-'n'-Sour Chicken.  I suddenly heard my mom's cell phone ring.  I simply thought that it was nothing and kept to myself eating my chicken.  I only knew it was something big when my mom about dropped her phone into her wonton soup.  She exclaimed "Sarah is engaged to Tanner!" I spewed out my chicken and looked at her and said "What?!" I was happy for her but also dying on the inside because I knew the rest of the night was going to be about her, and questions would be asked like "How big is the diamond?" and "When's the wedding?" Wow, way to steal the show Tanner. You owe me. Big time.

To conclude if someone has a birthday on a holiday, I have two pieces of advice. 1.) DO NOT give them a gift that "counts for their birthday and the holiday that is so close", and 2.) DO NOT propose to their sister the night of their birthday.  Not cool man, not cool.

Sinterklaas? Who is that?

Hello magnificent Non-Dutch Citizen, and as you all don't know, Sinterklaas season is upon us.  Who or what is Sinterklaas you ask?  Let me explain.

Back before I was born, and my grandmother was a wee little lass,  on the fifth of December a man named Sinterklaas came on his grey horse.  He would ride all around town leaving gifts for the young boys and girls in their shoes.  Things like chocolates, and small candies, and he also brings one big gift just for you.  You may be asking "What does he do with the bad children."  Well, what I didn't tell you was that black pete would come with Sinterklaas too.  He would take all the bad boys and girls away in a sack, to Spain and make them his slaves/servants.  Honestly, I would take a free trip to Spain than stay in Utah all year.

Gangster Sinterklaas and Black Pete brought to you by Wikipedia

You may also be wondering, "Why in the world is Matthew writing about this."  Well, I have a confession to make... I'm part Dutch.  You see my grandmother who is full Dutch used to have all of her children and grandchildren come and be a part of the Sinterklaas party.  We would go and have a huge breakfast, and while eating breakfast parents would write in a notebook two things about each of the children in their family, one good thing and one bad thing, then, we would sing the words of Sinterklaas which are Sinterklaas kapoentje gooi wat in mijn schoente, breng wat in mijn laarsj, dankje Sinterkaasje. Which if you are wondering, translates into Nicholas remember us on five of December.  Fill our little shoe, do, Thank you, Saint Nicholas. (Thanks for the help grandma.) Then if my grandmother does not think that it is loud enough she makes us sing it once more.  Then Sinterklaas comes with Black Pete and brings children gifts.  (He doesn't really bring them, the parents do.  Yes I know i'm ruining the magic.)  When it is your turn, you go up and sit on Sinterklaas' lap, and he reads from the book out loud and every time he does, my grandma no matter who it is shouts "Put 'em in the sack!"  Thanks grandma.

Now grandma thought last year, the party was getting too big.  So she made an end to the tradition.  Now, we celebrate it with our immediate family. So my mom thought that it would be fun if my little niece and nephew come over to spend the night, and we are going to have some sort of Sinterklaas party.  I'm not sure how it will turn out.  Hopefully well.

Well now you have more information about something that you will possibly never need.  Unless you get jumped, and the person who jumped you says that you can live only if you can tell him information about the Brothers Sinterklaas party and you can tell them everything about it.  You're welcome, I may have just saved your life.

If you would like a more proper education about Sinterklaas you can click here.