Mr. John Mulaney

Dear, Mr. Mulaney

Hello and welcome to my blog (if you are reading it.)  I would like to introduce my self by saying, I am a fifteen year old white male.  And also I hope I don't scare you away by pointing out all of your flaws and leave you depressed that I was able to do that in so little time.  Anyway the reason that I write this blog is for you.

Truthfulness brought to you by: RLC

I first met you at thirteen.  I formed the habit of going to sleep to music and or some talk show.  I decided to shake things up a little by making a comedy radio on Pandora.  I typed in the only comedian I knew.  Brian Regan.  I really enjoyed some of his stuff but by Pandora being a radio you were the next person on the play list.  I thought that your comedy was hilarious.  I would try my hardest not to laugh, trying not to wake up the entire house.  I would laugh at all of your stories including the ones that made fun of my age group.  I would listen to you when ever I could.  I hope that this does not terrify you too much for the fact that your worst enemies are laughing at your job.

I write for you because you are what I hope to be one day some millionaire that gets paid just to talk to people and make sure that they laugh.  I want to be the one to look back on my life and make sure that it was funny.  I want to be able to tell people about my friend and I that would go to the Salt and Pepper diner and make people go crazy by listening to Tom Jones "What's New Pussycat, but also make them have tears of joy by listening to "It's Not Unusual."  And to also be the kid who makes the basketball team but just because they need a bench warmer.

This blog that I am writing is about my incidents that think could be getting a few laughs.   Also about my opinions that I have on things.  Such as current local events.  I think that you are my ideal reader and others would agree with me on this, because I talk about more random things about my life and what goes on inside my head, and more or less from what I know about you, that is what you do too.

I hope that you would enjoy my blog and not hate it.  I also would like to be somewhat like you and I hope that you read my blog and, agree with the fact that we are both random people.  All in all you're awesome and I hope I can have the same adventures as you, just maybe a little bit cleaner.

 ~Matthew

New Year's Eve Time and Time again.

New Year's Eve is possibly the only holiday that is celebrated on its eve rather than the actual holiday, and possibly the only holidays that is celebrated by everyone, of every religion, around the world.

Well, anyway if you are not of this world and you are reading my blog may I say, "We come in peace." Also, if you are curious as to what New Year's Eve is; it is the last night of the year where you stay up until midnight (or at least try to). Around the hours of eight to midnight you are supposed to live life up like you never had before, but me being me I will probably never experience wild parties rather, I will be sleeping on your couch.

For example, two days ago (New Year's Eve) there was a dance going on and I was invited. Oh, the excitement rush I was having!  I was wanting to go because friends of mine had texted me asking if I was going to the dance tonight.  I questioned "There is a dance?" Later, they sent me a photo of the flyer.  It started at eight and lasted till twelve thirty A.M.  There was supposed to be a bull ride, and laser  tagging.  We got there around nine and it was below my expectations of what laser tagging and a dance should look like.  The laser tagging was in bright, florescent lights, and there were probably three people on the dance floor flailing their arms in the air like they just did not care.  We found a gym that had a volleyball court set up played there until the pizza came, ate some, and left.

If I Stay, the hipster teen drama that did not interest me. (Creds Den of Geek)

Eventually, we arrived to Sophie's house, and watched If I Stay. The hipster teen drama. I didn't really get into it and went to my normal tradition for New Year's Eve, sleeping.  I was sleeping for about an hour before Rachel decided that one A.M. was the appropriate time to leave.  I was quite confused and had a dazed look on my face and wanted to say "just let me sleep here."  I'm pretty sure they wouldn't have minded for the fact that Sophie's dad is my homie.

Well, if there is anything to learn from this post, don't get excited over teen dances, cause even when you walk in, the party never starts. Also, if you are watching a teen drama that does not apply to your life and you're not interested.  Get on the magical carpet ride of sleep, that can show you the coolest, weirdest, most horrifying things in your life.