Mr. John Mulaney

Dear, Mr. Mulaney

Hello and welcome to my blog (if you are reading it.)  I would like to introduce my self by saying, I am a fifteen year old white male.  And also I hope I don't scare you away by pointing out all of your flaws and leave you depressed that I was able to do that in so little time.  Anyway the reason that I write this blog is for you.

Truthfulness brought to you by: RLC

I first met you at thirteen.  I formed the habit of going to sleep to music and or some talk show.  I decided to shake things up a little by making a comedy radio on Pandora.  I typed in the only comedian I knew.  Brian Regan.  I really enjoyed some of his stuff but by Pandora being a radio you were the next person on the play list.  I thought that your comedy was hilarious.  I would try my hardest not to laugh, trying not to wake up the entire house.  I would laugh at all of your stories including the ones that made fun of my age group.  I would listen to you when ever I could.  I hope that this does not terrify you too much for the fact that your worst enemies are laughing at your job.

I write for you because you are what I hope to be one day some millionaire that gets paid just to talk to people and make sure that they laugh.  I want to be the one to look back on my life and make sure that it was funny.  I want to be able to tell people about my friend and I that would go to the Salt and Pepper diner and make people go crazy by listening to Tom Jones "What's New Pussycat, but also make them have tears of joy by listening to "It's Not Unusual."  And to also be the kid who makes the basketball team but just because they need a bench warmer.

This blog that I am writing is about my incidents that think could be getting a few laughs.   Also about my opinions that I have on things.  Such as current local events.  I think that you are my ideal reader and others would agree with me on this, because I talk about more random things about my life and what goes on inside my head, and more or less from what I know about you, that is what you do too.

I hope that you would enjoy my blog and not hate it.  I also would like to be somewhat like you and I hope that you read my blog and, agree with the fact that we are both random people.  All in all you're awesome and I hope I can have the same adventures as you, just maybe a little bit cleaner.

 ~Matthew

New Year's Eve Time and Time again.

New Year's Eve is possibly the only holiday that is celebrated on its eve rather than the actual holiday, and possibly the only holidays that is celebrated by everyone, of every religion, around the world.

Well, anyway if you are not of this world and you are reading my blog may I say, "We come in peace." Also, if you are curious as to what New Year's Eve is; it is the last night of the year where you stay up until midnight (or at least try to). Around the hours of eight to midnight you are supposed to live life up like you never had before, but me being me I will probably never experience wild parties rather, I will be sleeping on your couch.

For example, two days ago (New Year's Eve) there was a dance going on and I was invited. Oh, the excitement rush I was having!  I was wanting to go because friends of mine had texted me asking if I was going to the dance tonight.  I questioned "There is a dance?" Later, they sent me a photo of the flyer.  It started at eight and lasted till twelve thirty A.M.  There was supposed to be a bull ride, and laser  tagging.  We got there around nine and it was below my expectations of what laser tagging and a dance should look like.  The laser tagging was in bright, florescent lights, and there were probably three people on the dance floor flailing their arms in the air like they just did not care.  We found a gym that had a volleyball court set up played there until the pizza came, ate some, and left.

If I Stay, the hipster teen drama that did not interest me. (Creds Den of Geek)

Eventually, we arrived to Sophie's house, and watched If I Stay. The hipster teen drama. I didn't really get into it and went to my normal tradition for New Year's Eve, sleeping.  I was sleeping for about an hour before Rachel decided that one A.M. was the appropriate time to leave.  I was quite confused and had a dazed look on my face and wanted to say "just let me sleep here."  I'm pretty sure they wouldn't have minded for the fact that Sophie's dad is my homie.

Well, if there is anything to learn from this post, don't get excited over teen dances, cause even when you walk in, the party never starts. Also, if you are watching a teen drama that does not apply to your life and you're not interested.  Get on the magical carpet ride of sleep, that can show you the coolest, weirdest, most horrifying things in your life.

What is it like to be a Holiday Baby?

As the title questions, and you may be asking, what is it like to be a holiday baby?  Well, I being one of these can explain.  First, imagine that you see gifts for your birthday, and say it is Christmas time. Times your birthday gifts by two, then eliminate half of what you see.  That is one of the many horrors of being a holiday baby. 

Thanks to Unbashdly

The following stories contain people that have Holibirths.

First, is about my father, he was born on the twenty-first of June nine-teen fifty-seven.  Can you guess what holiday is very close to his birthday?  You guessed it, Father's Day.   Now flash back to Bed Bath and Beyond and little Matthew about ten years in age that is running up and down isles screaming while his mother is hustling to find Matthew a birthday present (and fathers day present) for his dad.  Well as you might guess my mom found the perfect gift the Ped-Egg. The cheese grater foot massager.  I mean it was a foot massager but on the little television that shows the magic of the Ped-Egg they were cutting cheese. Little Matthew was very excited to shred cheese when he got home. On the way home Matthew expressed his feelings to his mom. She said we had to wrap it and give it to dad strait away. Well, anyway when we got back to the house I wrapped it up with my magical ten year old wrapping skills and gave it to my dad.  I told him it was for his birthday and Father's Day, he smiled on the outside but knew he was dying on the inside.

 Matthew (a 14 and 12 hours old Matthew to be exact) was dining at the fine establishment called Full House.  Full House is probably my favorite place to eat Chinese food.  (Mikelle can attest that I love Chinese.) While I was eating my Sweet-'n'-Sour Chicken.  I suddenly heard my mom's cell phone ring.  I simply thought that it was nothing and kept to myself eating my chicken.  I only knew it was something big when my mom about dropped her phone into her wonton soup.  She exclaimed "Sarah is engaged to Tanner!" I spewed out my chicken and looked at her and said "What?!" I was happy for her but also dying on the inside because I knew the rest of the night was going to be about her, and questions would be asked like "How big is the diamond?" and "When's the wedding?" Wow, way to steal the show Tanner. You owe me. Big time.

To conclude if someone has a birthday on a holiday, I have two pieces of advice. 1.) DO NOT give them a gift that "counts for their birthday and the holiday that is so close", and 2.) DO NOT propose to their sister the night of their birthday.  Not cool man, not cool.

Sinterklaas? Who is that?

Hello magnificent Non-Dutch Citizen, and as you all don't know, Sinterklaas season is upon us.  Who or what is Sinterklaas you ask?  Let me explain.

Back before I was born, and my grandmother was a wee little lass,  on the fifth of December a man named Sinterklaas came on his grey horse.  He would ride all around town leaving gifts for the young boys and girls in their shoes.  Things like chocolates, and small candies, and he also brings one big gift just for you.  You may be asking "What does he do with the bad children."  Well, what I didn't tell you was that black pete would come with Sinterklaas too.  He would take all the bad boys and girls away in a sack, to Spain and make them his slaves/servants.  Honestly, I would take a free trip to Spain than stay in Utah all year.

Gangster Sinterklaas and Black Pete brought to you by Wikipedia

You may also be wondering, "Why in the world is Matthew writing about this."  Well, I have a confession to make... I'm part Dutch.  You see my grandmother who is full Dutch used to have all of her children and grandchildren come and be a part of the Sinterklaas party.  We would go and have a huge breakfast, and while eating breakfast parents would write in a notebook two things about each of the children in their family, one good thing and one bad thing, then, we would sing the words of Sinterklaas which are Sinterklaas kapoentje gooi wat in mijn schoente, breng wat in mijn laarsj, dankje Sinterkaasje. Which if you are wondering, translates into Nicholas remember us on five of December.  Fill our little shoe, do, Thank you, Saint Nicholas. (Thanks for the help grandma.) Then if my grandmother does not think that it is loud enough she makes us sing it once more.  Then Sinterklaas comes with Black Pete and brings children gifts.  (He doesn't really bring them, the parents do.  Yes I know i'm ruining the magic.)  When it is your turn, you go up and sit on Sinterklaas' lap, and he reads from the book out loud and every time he does, my grandma no matter who it is shouts "Put 'em in the sack!"  Thanks grandma.

Now grandma thought last year, the party was getting too big.  So she made an end to the tradition.  Now, we celebrate it with our immediate family. So my mom thought that it would be fun if my little niece and nephew come over to spend the night, and we are going to have some sort of Sinterklaas party.  I'm not sure how it will turn out.  Hopefully well.

Well now you have more information about something that you will possibly never need.  Unless you get jumped, and the person who jumped you says that you can live only if you can tell him information about the Brothers Sinterklaas party and you can tell them everything about it.  You're welcome, I may have just saved your life.

If you would like a more proper education about Sinterklaas you can click here.

Is Skiing in Park City Going to Stay the Same?

Hello everyone, well as everyone knows PCMR and the Canyons have decided to become one big resort.  Also, today was opening day.  I went up today to go skiing with my sister Rachel and brother Joshua.  Today was very interesting, lines were unusually long.  I have a strange feeling that skiing in Park City is going to stay the same.  There is someone that I know that works for Vale and he says that Park City is not going to be the same, he claims it will become a "Vail town".  What he means by Vail town is that we are going to have people coming from all over the world just to ski here, and because we have this corrupted government that is so greedy they are going to start charging twenty bucks for one car to park in their parking lot.

Image Creds to ParkCityPeaks

Although,  I really love Park City for its beautiful scenery and all that it has to offer, I hate the fact that Park City is becoming a Vail town.  Do we really want Sundance traffic all year here?  I don't think so.

Also, we are going to have people here that don't know how to ski.  Now I know that this sounds a little hypocritical because we all are still learning.  The problem that I am showing is that we have beginners going on expert run.   I remember getting off of a lift and there was a beginner just shredding down without any control whatsoever.  He did not know how to turn and then he went on top of me and popped off one of my skis and then I fell and and my leg bent the wrong way and it got a terrible sprain, I was pretty lucky though.

Another story also is that my brothers friend Tyler went up skiing and he said that when he went up there to go skiing that they were some beginners there and he was trying to pass them and they cut him off and it popped off his ski and it hyper extended his leg up to touch his thigh.

I'm not totally sure that Park City is going to be the same. 

Andrew's and Sam's Excellent Adventures

(Andrew and Connor Creds to my sister.)

So, as some of you know I come from a rather large family of six.  And the person I would like to talk about to day is Andrew.  Andrew is a pretty cool kid and with his permission I would like to introduce him to you guys.Well, anyway to get to the point, i'm going to share some stories and adventures about Andrew that he has told me.  So grab the popcorn and curl up in a blanket and sip some tea, because you are about to go on one wild ride. (These stories might include Andrew and his friends, they are not fully centered around Andrew.)

The first story I would like to share with you includes the characters: Sam Taggert, Andrew, and Mr. McNaughton (he was Treasure Mountains old principal, and so play the Sarah McLaughlin music.) So anyway when My brother Andrew was very young he was quite the trouble maker, and he earned the nickname the weasel because he got what ever he wanted. So by getting what ever he wanted was the problem at school because he thought he could do what ever he wanted.  So, one night he and Sam decided to stay late at school that night about four o'clock.  They started to do some weird things like roll under the school lunch tables, and also they tried to open up at the stage, but that did not work out as they planned.  Well, sometime during these unnatural acts, they found Mr. McNaughton. They saw him and he saw them and they had that awkward stare at each-other then they booked it out of there.

Story number two starts with a very young Andrew and a very young Sam.  They were both in the second grade.  It was SSR or silent sustained reading, where you have a book and you must read that book for the amount of time that you have SSR.  Well, Andrew and Sam liked to sit in the keiva up against the filing cabinets, when it was very quiet and the only sound that you could hear was the occasional turning page, Sam's stomach started to grumble.  Then, when he released the beast,  it was so loud that it shook the filing cabinet started to shake.  Sam's face turned red and that was the last time that Andrew or Sam read near a filing cabinet. 

Well that is probably enough embarrassment for one day about two people.  

Guys Night? Yes it Exists!

Well I just had the chance to go and have fun with all the guys in my family (Dad, Josh, Andrew, and Adam.)  It all started because Andrew wanted to go and have a guys night and then the girls could have a girls night.  It really wasn't planned that well and I had no idea about what was happening, because my quality crappy phone won't let me be part of group messages. My phone gives me enough to be able to be liking pictures on insta, but not enough to let me get the information that I really need to know.

Any way,  We headed up to Wolf Creek up in Ogden Valley, that was supper fun and by the time that we got there it was about six.  We got to the check-in and the girl at the front thought that it was good that some guys were getting away for a day, because she only ever sees girls coming in and getting away from home.  Which is weird because we were getting away from home and some other guys behind us at the check-in were all together so... i'm pretty sure that she was lying to us.  Well we got there and there was a place that we were planning to go to called the "Lone Star" and it was a saloon. And my dad thought that we could be put somewhere far away from the bar.  Far away from the bar to the management was another restaurant.  So that is what we did. Finally, we ended the night playing Phase 10, then, went to bed around twelve.

The next day, we woke up and we got up very slowly.  I was packing up the games and found that I had not played Scrabble in a very long time so Josh and I set it up and then quit when I had a Z and then my dad found himself drawn toward the game so we started playing in teams.  Then after getting bored with that, my brother Andrew and brother-in-law wanted to teach me poker.  So we played black jack and some real poker, as my dad cooked omelets for breakfast. (For any cops reading this blog we did not bet anything of value such as money. So I was being a good boy.)  We then packed up and drove for a while to somewhere and I can't tell you where because I fell asleep.

Yum Cupbop

When I did wake up I found that we were at my brother-in-laws house and then we headed to the Lifetime gym.  Andrew who is yolked, gave me some work out tips and tricks.  We stayed there for about an hour then we went to the Jazz game where they played the Timberwolves and they beat them 89-79 We left at the beginning of the fourth quarter because they were so far ahead, and plus we didn't want to get stuck in the traffic jam.  Oh, yeah i forgot to tell you that we had a Korean BBQ called Cupbop I would definitely eat there again.  Then we got home and I had deja vu for the rest of the night and earlier that Sunday morning.  I do not know why and I don't want to hear your comments about it.  So all in all, I think that it was pretty fun to do guys night, and if you haven't done that in your family I would highly suggest that you do.